Communicating thoughts and ideas with others can be a problem. Others may disagree with you and have suggestions of their own that they wish to eagerly air. Sometimes you get a group of people at a meeting all shouting at once or a family dispute with all trying to get you to agree with them and not listening to your point of view. The Native Americans had a remedy for this by using something called a talking stick.
Sticks were important to the early American Indians. Sticks were used to plant corn, to beat drums, as pipes and flutes, as walking aides, and as weapons.
The Talking Stick
The Talking Stick was taken to council meetings or gatherings and used as a symbol of the speaker's importance. The person doing the talking or teaching would bring his or her own Talking Stick but if responses were called for or were sought by the speaker the stick could be passed on to others and they, too, would be given respect and attention. Often, an "Answering Feather" was used. The feather would be passed to persons wanting to respond to the main talker.
Here’s how this idea can be used in any dispute or meeting situation:
Any item can be designated for use as an Indian talking stick if one is not available. Use a feather, pen or pencil, rock or shell. What is important is that the object is designated as empowering the speaker with the right of uninterrupted speech.
When using an Indian talking stick it is important for all to agree that the individual who has the stick is to be allowed to speak without interruption until they are finished.
Perhaps you could design a family talking stick. It can be a thick tree branch decoratively wrapped with leather straps or a fluffy magic wand made of lace, beads and glitter. It can be a twig of any length. It can be plain or decorated with feathers and ribbon. Each family member can participate in the designing one stick for everyone’s use or each family member can have an individual talking stick. Designate a special place to store the family’s talking sticks so everyone knows where it is when it’s needed.
Decide when to use the talking stick. A talking stick can be used at family meetings or spontaneously when members want to express themselves. Talk about how your family or team want to incorporate this communication tool.
Take turns with the talking stick. At meetings each person takes a turn holding the stick. The person holding the stick has the floor until they’ve said all that they want to say. As long as the person is holding the stick, no interrupting is allowed. The talking stick gives the speaker a chance to reveal all of his concerns. When the speaker has said all that he wants to say, he holds out the talking stick and whoever wishes to speak next takes it. The stick is passed from one person to another until everyone has had an opportunity to speak. If a person wants to use the stick spontaneously, that means that the family listens closely to what is being expressed.
Demonstrate respect for the talking stick holder. The person holding the stick has accepted the right to speak and does so respectfully. The stick represents the group’s respect for free speech. The stick implies freedom to speak honestly without fear of judgment, humiliation or consequences. No one is judged or put down for speaking from the heart.
Honour the words. The talking stick is a symbol of the power of words. The person who is talking must not dishonor him/herself or the tradition by speaking in a way that dishonors the family. When a person accepts the stick he makes an agreement to speak with honor and respect for the process. The person speaks clearly and kindly.
Incorporate silent listening. No one talks until they’re holding the stick. This silent listening is very effective in keeping the discussion focused and is a respectful, productive way of handling disagreements.
Show consideration for the process. A talking stick is not magic, but the process of the talking stick is powerful and transformative. The magic happens through listening, hearing, and hearing over and over again without threats or lambasting, without rebuttal or criticism.
Remember, only the person with the stick can speak and no one may interrupt or speak until the stick is passed to them.
This simple tool allows everyone to feel valued and listened to. It allows everyone the chance to everybody else’s viewpoint making resolutions and agreements much easier to reach. It’s worked for the Native Americans for hundreds of years. It can work for your group too.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Using an Indian Talking Stick
Friday, August 8, 2008
How To Stop Impulse Buying
Impulse buying is fuelled by the uncontrollable urge to spend money, usually on unnecessary items. It can easily develop into a compulsive behaviour where it's the act of spending money that becomes the reward regardless of whether the person can really afford the purchases. The actual goods themselves are not as important as the buzz the person gets from buying them.
Unfortunately these Impulse purchase highs are often followed by feelings of regret, guilt and shame, which the shoppers try to justify or forget. They may even hide the evidence of their "inappropriate behaviour.” Impulse buying can become a serious addiction, and can land a person in financial trouble.
Of course, most of us have bought an item on impulse before, and later came to regret it. However, when a person starts having urges to spend money they don’t have, such as using credit cards to make luxurious purchases and then acts on those urges regularly, they could be allowing themselves to fall under the spell of impulse buying.
There are times that good deals just cannot be passed by, and that’s alright because impulse buying isn't always bad, provided you have the money. However, thinking about your purchase can help you decide whether it is necessary and keep you from mindlessly spending money for a useless item. I've got into the habit of always questioning my purchase decisions – over the years it's saved me a lot of money!
When you're about to buy anything be honest and ask yourself why you are buying this particular item. Is the purchase going to be useful to you in some way and on a regular basis? For example, if you are considering buying a CD, how often are you going to play it? Once a day? Once a week? Once a month? Or just once? Are you buying the item because it makes you feel better? Is this serving as some sort of reward? If it's something you want rather than something you need, perhaps you should consider waiting to buy the item until you’ve had chance to think about it some more. If you really can use the product or have a genuine and undeniable need for it, then the purchase can be justified.
Also, be careful of what you put into your cart. If you have two similar items, compare them, and decide which one is a more worthwhile purchase. This can shave off extra spending. Making a list before you come to the store, and then committing to the list while shopping can serve as a wonderful deterrent to impulsive buying. Believe it or not, many stores count on impulsive spenders, and actually arrange their products accordingly. Enticing displays for new products, pairing two products such as fizzy drinks and crisps on the same aisle, and various other tactics are designed to lure spenders to buy more than they came for.
Not everyone manages money effectively, but curbing your impulsive buying tendencies can help a you avoid the pitfalls of overspending, and help to keep you from debts you can't afford.
Monday, July 28, 2008
How to Create an Elevator Speech
It was probably a good thing. Most likely the two of you had nothing to talk about – or did you?
When you look at this scenario both of you did nothing to help either yourselves or the other person. You could be the most gifted accountant or florist. You may be a computer whizz. Neither of you gave the other an opportunity to realise how interesting each of you are.
An elevator speech is a concise, punchy, planned description that overviews the value provided by a person or organisation. It takes no more than twenty seconds which is the approximate time you might spend in an lift with a stranger and provides the answer to the listener's question, “what’s in it for me?” or “what’s in it for my organisation?”.
An elevator speech must meet the following rules:
- it must be entirely truthful.
- It must make someone think “Wow – that's interesting!” and want to find out more.
As an example, here's my elevator speech.:
Q. “So what do you do Dave?”.
ME: “You know how people can have fears, mental blocks or habits that stop them achieving their goals in life? Well what I do is I help companies and individuals break through whatever that is so they can go on to achieve fantastic results in things that they previously thought difficult or even impossible.”
Can you see the difference? The usual response is something like “Wow...how do you do that? That must be so rewarding” Before you know it we're having a conversation and they are looking for ways I can help either them or someone they know.
Consider these two responses:
“I'm a wedding planner”
“You know how couples really want their wedding to be the most special day of their lives? Often they have incredibly busy lives and don't know who to trust when it comes to organising things. Well what I do is take all of that off their hands. I coordinate the whole thing for them and take the time and effort into getting things just right so that they can have the sort of wedding they've always dreamed of”.
What about this:
“I fix computers”
“You know how people rely their computers more and more nowadays. It can be really distressing when you've got hours of work or priceless family photos on there and a computer virus gets in and destroys them all or it breaks down. Well what I do is use specialist software to rescue all those precious lost files and then get the computer working again as good as new.”
or one last example...
“I'm an accountant”
“You know how tax rules can be so complicated? People often end up paying far more tax than they should or heavy fines where there was no need to. Well what I do is look after all of that for them and show them how they can keep more of their hard earned cash for themselves and their loved ones instead of giving it away to the Chancellor.”
Having a well rehearsed elevator speech means that you will never be stuck for something to say and you will ALWAYS be seen as an interesting person to talk to. If you're in business it can also bring you customers from places you never expected!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Hypnotherapy and the Prevention of Recurring Ulcers
An ulcer is a wound that develops inside the body where acid and digestive juices eat away at the mucous lining. Duodenal ulcers are ulcers in the duodenum which is the upper part of the small intestine that connects to the stomach. Symptoms of a duodenal ulcer include heartburn, burning in the throat, and abdominal pain. These symptoms are most likely to occur a few hours after eating and are more likely to occur when acidic foods are ingested.
Treatment of duodenal ulcers is highly effective with the use of drugs such as ranitidine, H2 receptor antagonists, and tripotassium dicitratobismuthate. However studies have shown that anywhere from 60% to 90% of people who suffer from duodenal ulcers relapse within one year of treatment.
According to an article published in the U.K. medical journal The Lancet, a study was performed to test whether hypnotherapy would play a role in preventing relapses in people who suffered from duodenal ulcers. The study consisted of 30 people of whom 14 were women, 16 were men, and the average age was 40. All participants had been diagnosed with the disease through an endoscopy. They also experienced relapses with the most recent relapse being within the past six months.
Treatment for the thirty participants included taking the drug ranitidine. The ulcer was given time to heal and was shown to have healed through an endoscopy. All participants continued to take the drug for ten more weeks. The patients were divided into two groups. One group received seven hypnosis sessions and was given a recording of the sessions to listen to on their own. The other group did not receive hypnosis during their sessions. The participants were taken off the medication and follow-up reviews (with hypnotherapy sessions for the hypnosis group) were performed every three months for the next year.
The hypnosis sessions consisted of an induction to promote relaxation. The participants in the hypnosis group were told to focus their attention and relaxation on their abdomen. They were told to imagine feeling a sense of warmth over their abdomen and the warmth was to control the secretion of stomach acid. They were asked to visualize this process.
All participants were reviewed after one year. The relapse rate in the hypnosis group was 53% compared to 100% in the control group. Statistically this comparison was significant. The study showed that hypnosis can help those who have frequent duodenal ulcers. Hypnosis was shown to be a successful form of treatment along side of medication.
Source:
The Lancet. June 11, 1988. 1299-1300.
Monday, July 14, 2008
How To Get A Good Nights Sleep
Recent studies show that 55% of the worlds populations are are not sleeping well. To look and feel fresh, you need to get approximately seven to nine hours of deep, restful and quality sleep each night. Sleep is a valuable and restorative resource that’s vital to well-being and stress management, but can sometimes be hard to come by for the busy and stressed. Here are some effective night-time habits to get into, to help enhance the amount and quality of sleep you get!
1. Light Exercise
Working at the office might make you sweat mentally, but it’s not giving your body enough exercise. People who have physical jobs tend to experience fewer problems with insomnia than those with office jobs because their bodies feel exhaustion too.
2. Take things that don't support sleep and romance out of your bedroom.
The purpose of your bedroom is ultimately to recharge you to be ready to deal with life. If you aren't sleeping well, take a good look around your room. Do you have a computer or work desk in there? Exercise equipment? TV? Telephone? And if you have them all in there, it's no wonder you have trouble sleeping! They don't do anything to help you relax or get to sleep. Find new homes for them. If you need to have a telephone in your bedroom, at least turn the ringer off. Sleep is too important to let wrong numbers wake you up!
3. Dust!
Keep your bedroom as well dusted as you can. Excess dust in your room makes it harder for you to breathe. It can cause allergy symptoms and seriously disturb your sleep. Dust frequently, especially if you have pets. Remember, don't only do the surfaces! Many people let dust collect under beds, furniture, on curtains, etc. for months and sometimes even years. Do in-depth dusting at least once a month and you will sleep much better.
4. Change the sheets!
Your sheets can be a source of your insomnia partly because they collect dust. Make sure you change your sheets at least once a week, but for some people who are very sensitive to dust, every 3 to 5 days works much better.
5. Keep a pen and paper by your bedside.
If you can't sleep, often it's because your mind is racing. Perhaps you are getting lots of ideas to solve a problem at work, or you are worried about a meeting tomorrow. Whatever is rolling around in your brain and won't stop, you need to get your thoughts on paper so you can get them off your mind! Keeping a journal has many stress and health benefits, making it a great way to end the day. Writing in a journal before bed can clear your mind, help you process emotions, solve problems, mentally prepare for the next day, make plans, and get your thoughts out of your head and on the page, where they can be picked up the next morning. A gratitude journal can get you in a positive frame of mind for sleep, and over time helps you change your whole frame of mind to a more positive, less stressed one. Writing helps clear your mental clutter so you can get some rest!
6. Have A Bedtime Schedule
Your life may not be routine, but your body likes it that way. Try to fall asleep and wake at the same time each day. even on the weekends. Work out how many hours your body needs to feel rested and schedule your sleep that way. Once your body gets used to a routine, it will naturally want to fall asleep at the scheduled time. Keep your biological clock turning in the right direction; otherwise you will be fighting against it. To help with this...
7. Have A “Going To Bed” Ritual
If you’re like most people, there are periods of lost time where you’re doing something but you don’t actually have to think about doing it. They are so automatic that you can daydream about anything else and come back down to earth when the task is complete.
Shaving does this for me. The rest of the world disappears while I shave. For some this happens while washing their hair or taking a shower.
You can create this state before sleep by establishing a repeated pattern. This teaches the brain that the last part of the routine is sleep.
A typical pattern may be:
1) Read something light for 20 minutes
2) Check doors
3) Go upstairs
4) Toilet
5) Brush teeth
6) Set Alarm
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
COPING WITH RETIREMENT
On the day people leave work permanently, they lose one of the most obvious ways that they measure their place in society. Now they are faced with the decision about what to do with the rest of their life. Those who retire unexpectedly because of illness or job loss or others who tended to work long hours and bring work home with them are most likely to experience difficulty. They may resent what they see as their diminished role in society, believing that they are unimportant and powerless, with little left to contribute. Partners may have to adjust to seeing more of one another which may cause friction.
Whether retirement is viewed as a positive or negative event often depends on the reasons for retiring. Here are some ideas that may help.
Have a reason to get up in the morning
Nowadays people are living longer and healthier than any previous generation. That means a possible 20 – 30 more productive years. Sitting by the window watching traffic, or playing golf may be good for the first year or two, but there is so much more to live for. We all need a good reason to get up in the morning. For many years, you had to get up to go to work: maybe you enjoyed it, maybe you didn’t.
Challenging yourself is a terrific way of motivating yourself to do something new. For example, learning a new language, going to a country you have never visited before, learning to ice cakes, making clothes, putting up shelves, painting – there are hundreds of things out there for you to do. If there is no goal it is easy to make a half-hearted effort and give up. However, when we have something very clear to aim for, it is much more likely we will actually make something happen. Make a definite start date – knowing when you are going to do this means you can’t put it off forever.
Use Your Vast Knowledge
Just because you retire from one job it doesn't mean you have to stay that way. Perhaps you ran your own successful business for years. Why not become a mentor providing support for other people looking to start their own business, or who are already running a small business. Speak to the Chamber Of Commerce to see if there are volunteer or paying organisations in existence. If not why not start one? There are probably many other experts like you who are looking for something to fill their days. volunteering, mentoring, consulting, and many other options help you to feel needed, perhaps even more so than your previous work.
Become a 'Silver Surfer'
The fastest growing users of the Internet are pensioners. My own dad is one of these. There are schemes all around the country teaching computer skills to retired people who are finding a whole new world available to them. The visiting pensioners are given training and tips to get to grips with the latest computer technology and the world wide web.
One scheme in Liverpool has been such a success that the pensioners are now taking on mentor roles to help other senior citizens overcome their technophobia. Some pensioners are making a bit of extra money by selling items over the internet. Some are using it to make new friends and even dating. Don't knock it till you've tried it. It's nowhere near as difficult as you think. Why not ask at your Citizens Advice Bureau or local Library?
Join A Local Theatre Company
You may never have acted in your life before but you never know – you might be better than you think! Even if you are right and couldn't act your way out of a paper bag you still have plenty to contribute. Perhaps you can help with set building or costume making. Maybe you could help backstage or as a prompt. You might even discover you have a talent for fund raising. Local amateur theatre companies will welcome you with open arms. They also help to broaden your social life.
Write a book
It is said that everyone has at least one book inside them. You never know, you may have a few. Surprisingly, what many people view as just their ordinary life is extraordinary in comparison to others. Why not write your life story. Experiences that you have had can be an inspiration to others.
It is worth remembering that Buster Merryfield who played Uncle Albert in Only Fools and Horses was a bank manager and worked for the bank for 40 years. He became a professional actor at the age of 57 and signed with an acting agency on the day he retired from the bank.
Writing the next chapter of your life is up to you. If you choose to feel the best years are behind you, then so be it. However, many people are now more and more people are finding ways to stay young and vital. Choosing to be vibrant means that the best years are yet to come.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Hypnotherapy To Help Bedwetting
Andrew Tan, 9, arrived at most early childhood milestones at a young age, and with ease. He walked at 9 months old. He was stringing sentences together and was potty trained when he was 2 years old. But when it came to being dry at night, Andrew had a different story. “We just thought that he'd come to it sooner or later,” says Joanna Tan, Andrew's mum. “But at 6, he was still wetting the bed at night.”
According to the NHS, bedwetting when asleep, also known as nocturnal enuresis, is very common in children, especially those under 7. About one five-year-old in seven, and one child in 20 children aged 10 wet the bed, and it is more common in boys than girls. It can be caused by medical conditions such as cystitis or diabetes, or by some children's inability to produce enough of the antidiuretic hormone, ADH, which controls the production of urine at night, or just by the fact that some children develop bladder control later than others. It may also have a psychological cause, because of problems at school or at home, for example.
Andrew overcame his bedwetting by means of hypnotherapy, which involves using hypnosis to treat medical and psychological problems. “He was approaching his seventh birthday and desperately wanted to go to Cub camp and sleepovers,” says Joanna. “He was still wetting the bed, though, and felt embarrassed, ashamed and even angry with himself. I've always wanted my son to believe he can accomplish anything he set his mind to, but with his bedwetting, his confidence levels were low. He was a bright chap, with a reading age of 9 or 10 when he was only 7, yet because of his bed-wetting, he felt like a failure. Then I read an article on hypnotherapy, which ended up being Andrew's route to feeling good about himself again.”
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
How To Give A Best Man's Speech
So how do you give a memorable toast at a wedding?
1) First of all you need to write your speech a few weeks before the wedding day. This is important because if you wait until the last minute you're only going to put yourself under more stress and may have difficulty writing anything. Planning ahead gives you time to write the speech and rewrite or edit it if you need to.
2) Avoid embarrassing anecdotes. These may be funny while you're in the pub with your mates but aren't going to help at the wedding. Don't include stories of wild debauched nights or transgressions. Inclusion of crude or vulgar references in a wedding speech is in bad taste because it may be offensive to other guests. Weddings are usually attended by older relatives of both the bride and the groom. They aren't likely to appreciate this type of humour.
3) It's best not to include inside jokes which won't be understood by the majority of guests at the wedding. Although these may be quite funny to the couple, yourself and perhaps a few guests, most people present won't understand the joke. This can create an awkward situation because the guests won't have a clue why a few guests are laughing so much.
4) Short and simple is the key. Many best men make the mistake of thinking the speech has to last a while but this isn’t true. Some of the most memorable toasts are short and to the point. It also means that guests won't become confused or lose track of the point you're making.
5) Use common language when giving your speech. If you attempt to use unfamiliar words you're going to be uncomfortable and other guests will spot it a mile off.
6) Try getting some outside help. Have a practice run for an audience before the wedding day to make sure everything comes out the way you want it to. Friends or the parents of the couple make a good audience because they know the couple well and can give you an idea how your speech will be received.
7) Practice reciting the speech a few more times before the wedding. The practice run with others is useful for checking content but if you rehearse in front of a mirror or a camcorder you can determine how well the speech sounds. A Best man's speech should sound natural and not over rehearsed but repeating the words out loud a few times will help you to deliver the toast smoothly on the day of the wedding.
8) Important – On the day it's very wise to lay off the alcohol until after your speech. Alcohol will not get rid of fear and often makes it worse. It will also leave you dehydrated.
Follow these points and people will be talking about your speech in years to come - for all the right reasons!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Learning Life's Lessons
I have a client in his late twenties i'm working with at the moment who fears death and is literaly waiting for it to happen. Here are some lessons that he needs to learn about life
Lesson 1: Life Is Really Simple, So Why Not Keep It That Way
It's easy to get distracted from what is important in life. Society keeps telling you that the silly things like a bigger house, a nicer car or a hair on your head will make you happier. Don't fall for it.
The keys to happiness can be really simple. Happiness can be a good night's sleep, some delicious food, spending quality time with ones you love. Find the things in life that work for you and don't get distracted by all the background noise of other people telling you what you should or shouldn't do.
Lesson 2: If You Really Have To Do Something, Do It With Style
In life, you are going to have to do things you don't really want to do. If you have to do something and there is no way to avoid it, you should try to find a way to do it with style. In your life, try to do things so that your taste and values shine through. Do it with all your strength and all your energy because you have to do it anyway and you might as well feel good about how you did it afterwards.
Lesson 3: Prepare Yourself for the Obvious.
Some things in life are so obvious, like the fact that you will drop dead at some point. We spend so much time avoiding the hard facts in our lives. It's much more productive to invest the energy you would spend avoiding unpleasant things to preparing for them. If you stop denying that bad things happen and just start facing their inevitability, you may be able to find a clever way to take advantage of the things that are going to happen in your life.
Lesson 4: Change Your Life if You Don't Like It
If your life or job generally sucks, then find ways to entertain yourself and to laugh at them. If that doesn't work and you still don't like your life or your work, then change it. It's your choice. Nobody needs to sit in the mud if they don't want to.
Lesson 5: Life is Not Perfect
The source for much of the dissatisfaction we face in our lives stems from our unrealistic expectations of life.
If you thought you were going to become a millionaire by doing the lottery or get that girl by just being nice, you are going to be disappointed. If you don't expect life to be perfect you won't be unhappy when it isn't. You may be a bit bitter, but not bitterly unhappy. Face the reality!
Lesson 6: Take The Time To Have An Adventure
It's important that we take risks in life. If you never stretch yourself to try new things or have enough fun, you will have missed out on all the thrilling adventures life has to offer. If you get invited to a party or gathering, say yes no matter what.
Lesson 7: Always Try to Keep on the Sunny Side
There are two types of people in the world: those who try to enjoy life and those who just like to complain about it.
I believe happiness is a choice you make in almost every situation. Of course, you can't be happy all the time But, I do think that when there are moments that you can take pleasure and feel happiness, you should try to do so.
Lesson 8: It's Great To Be Different!
There is too much conformity in the world. Being the same as everyone else is not always a good thing. So when you can and when you feel the desire, don't be afraid to be a little different.
Lesson 9: Be Who You Really Are
Don't fight who you are. Even if you do try to hide it, people can see right through you and see what you really are. So, learn to be happy with yourself and acknowledge both your unique strengths and weaknesses.
Lesson 10: Life Goes So Quickly
Life is short. You are only on this earth for a very short period of time. Make sure you enjoy it's many pleasures. Take what you love and enjoy it now, as it may not be there tomorrow. If you haven't seen the wonder of the Pyramids or Australia, or felt the pleasure of drinking the finest of real ales, or danced the Salsa. DO IT NOW!!!
Monday, April 28, 2008
WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO SET GOALS ?
Having a goal enables you to focus your energies on devising ways to achieve it. When you make a decision and begin focusing on achieving a specific goal (and even better in a specific period of time), your unconscious mind goes to work and begins testing ideas and developing strategies of various ways to successfully complete it.
Your conscious and unconscious start working on it and begin to develop an action plan. You will find you begin asking yourself questions about what needs to be done so you reach your goal. You may find yourselves coming up with amazing ideas and solutions to problems or obstacles that might have been in the way of achieving it.
Our unconscious mind is an extremely powerful tool. The more often you remind yourself of your goal, the more your mind will work on ways for you to achieve it. Some people find answers come to them when they are asleep and dreaming.
Have you ever noticed that there is no correlation between being wealthy and having a high IQ or a university degree? If there were, every doctor and university graduate would be wealthy, and as statistics show, most of them end up in the same situation as 95% of the population. The biggest thing that the majority of independently wealthy people have in common is that they set goals for themselves and achieved them.
Setting Goals.
1. Pick ONE Goal: This is important! You can only achieve your goals if you focus on them one at a time. Once your goal has been accomplished or made into a stable habit you can start on the next goal.
2. Start Small and Easy: The best way to succeed with your first goal is to pick something you are already doing, once in awhile, but want to do daily. This will build your self confidence as you achieve the goal and help prepare you to work on future goals.
3. Simplify: Choose a small, specific goal, or break up larger goals into small pieces that can be done on a daily basis. Big successes start with little ones.
4. Write It Down: Write your goal in large letters and place it where you will see it several times a day. Putting your goal to paper makes it official: You Want It!
5. Keep Track Every Day: This step is VERY IMPORTANT! If you don't keep track of your daily progress you won't progress. Everything we accomplish takes DAILY steps which turns the goal into a habit.
6. You Have To Want It: If you don't really want to do it, you won't succeed. Pick goals you want to achieve or change your attitude so you REALLY do want it.
7. Make the Time: You have to MAKE the time or you won't MAKE the goal. Pick a time when you will work on your goal, such as early in the morning, late at night, during lunch, when children are occupied. If you "just don't have the time" then wake up earlier. Most people only need 6 hours of deep sleep.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Can you forget going on a "Diet" forever?
When you think about it, diet products are a marketing director’s dream: the failed dieter almost always blames herself — and then looks for another product. Not surprisingly many companies produce a range of products: slimming clubs, low-cal meals, books, videos.
Can you forget going on a "Diet" forever? You may find it helpful to consider this:
A tiny cherry-sized zone in the brain called the hypothalamus holds a key in controlling weight. The hypothalamus is involved in controlling hunger and thirst -in fact, almost everything connected with the hypothalamus has the power to affect the numbers you see on the scales.
When you are hungry the hypothalamus sends a signal to your stomach that says "Time to eat, expect food". Here's the interesting bit...
Whether you eat or you don't eat, 20 minutes later the hypothalamus sends another signal which says "We're full now. Stop eating".
Hypothalamus aside, let's consider what is common knowledge in regards to weight gain in simple terms:
We know that too much food equals weight gain.
We know that too little exercise can also lead to weight gain when we exceed our daily energy (food) requirements.
We know that when we're hungry, we receive a signal from the body in the form of a growl. The hungrier we are, the bigger the growl.
When your body craves fluids, it's impossible to beat water.
Here are some easy steps you can do right now to lose weight:
1. Eat a balanced diet and only when you are hungry.
2. Put your knife and fork down while you chew your food.
3. Chew for longer. Eat slowly so you don't miss that signal from the hypothalmus that the stomach is full
4. When you are full – STOP EATING!!
5. Get exercise - this doesn't have to be a full on celebrity workout. Take a walk. The fresh air will do you good and lift your mood considerably.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
CityTalk 'Phobias' Radio Interview 09.04.08.
Aside from my normal daily 'Life Tips' spot on CityTalk, I was a guest on Brendan Kearney's show this morning talking about phobias. You can listen to the interview here:
More information is also available via my website www.merseyhypnosis.com.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The Power Of Gratitude
When you're grateful, you see the world in a completely different way. You learn to see that there are always good things behind everything that happens. You come to realise that your life is actually pretty wonderful.
So how you become a grateful person?
1. Realise how rich you are
So often we think that we need more and more money to be happy. This, probably, is one of the main reasons that makes us difficult to be grateful. But do you realize how rich you are right now? If you doubt this, visit Global Rich List, enter your annual income, and see the result. If you earn just £5,000 per year (and most likely you actually do earn more) you are in the top 13% richest people in the world!
2. Realise what a healthy and prosperous life you have.
Life expectancy over most of human history was only 20-35 years. Most of those lives were spent in diseases, poverty, and misery. Only in the last century has human life expectancy increased significantly to the current average of 67 years.
It is estimated that there are 106 billion people who have ever been born on earth, with 6 billions are living today. This fact coupled with Point 1 means most likely you are healthier and more prosperous than 99% of people in human history! You are in the top 1% of the healthiest and most prosperous people ever born.
3. Realise what a blessing it is to live in peace
No matter how rich and healthy you are, life will be full of fear and misery in the time of war. Can you imagine being in the midst of a city bombarded with bombs? Can you imagine being on the spot in countries at war? Just living in peace deserves your sincerest gratitude!
4. Open your eyes to see the good things in your life
We tend to see the bad things that happen in our lives but so often overlook all the good things. Even small things matter. If someone considers you a friend, that’s something you should be grateful for.
5. Maintain a “good things that happen in my life” journal
Why not write the good things that happen in your life in a journal? When bad things come and life looks grim and it can be difficult for you to be grateful, open and read your journal. You will soon start to see the wonderful life that you have and this will give you a renewed strength to overcome your problems.
6. Understand that there are ALWAYS positive things behind all the bad things that happen
This might be difficult for some people, but I firmly believe it and have had this proven to me time and time again in my own life. At the very least, bad things give you valuable lessons you should be grateful for. When you have this mindset, it’s not difficult to see the good things you could get out of something bad. This way you will always have reasons to be grateful.
7. Focus on giving
You will always be grateful if your mind focuses on what you have rather than what you don’t have. By giving, your mind will focus on what you have (you can’t give something you haven't got, can you?). Most people focus on receiving which makes their mind focus on what they don’t have. If you're always chasing what you don't have then no wonder it’s difficult for you to be grateful!
8. Decide to be a grateful person
It’s entirely up to you to decide whether or not you want to be a grateful person. If you decide to be a grateful person, then you will be one. The same thing happens the other way around. No matter what happens to you, it is still you who decides how you will respond. So make the decision to be a grateful person!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
CityTalk 105.9 Interview
Last Sunday I recorded an interview with CityTalk DJ Roy Basnett. We talked about what hypnosis is, how it works and how it can help. We ended up with me hypnotising Roy during the interview. That part will be broadcast in the near future.
In the meantime you can listen to the interview here:
David Laing CityTalk Roy Basnett Show 10.03.08
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