So many relationships nowadays end with someone's broken heart. It's important to remember is that your heart will mend. We've all been there. I bet loads of people that you know have had their hearts broken in the past. Very likely they are absolutely fine now and one day you'll be fine too. But if you've just ended a relationship, right now it's probably hard for you to believe that.
Often only one person wants to end the relationship and that leaves the other person broken hearted. When a relationship ends for some it may take months if not years for them to recover. A broken heart can feel like the worst pain imaginable. It can also seem like it will never end - luckily it does.
Here are some things you can do to fix your broken heart.
Forgiveness.
The first step is to forgive yourself for all the wrong that you feel you did during the relationship and then forgive the other person for any wrong you feel they did. If you forgive then you can start to move forward.
Self-esteem
Work on rebuilding your self-esteem. See my article on self-esteem and how to rebuild it.
Getting over your first love
This can sometimes be difficult because we all think our first, real, magical,love will last forever. But we don't normally look at friends and their teen relationships and think that they will last forever. It's extremely rare for people to fall in love at 17 or 18 and stay with that person for the rest of their lives. But this doesn't prevent us from feeling that our own first love is magical, wonderful, special and unique. So when that love ends it can be utterly devastating.
But this romance has shown you how much love you have to give. We all need love, every one of us. It's the one thing that unites us all. People with love to give are attractive individuals that everyone of the opposite sex is looking for. One day, you'll look back at your first love and realise that it was tremendous practice for later relationships.
But right now...
Be gentle with yourself
A broken heart makes us feel utterly destroyed. Treat yourself as if you are recovering from a bad illness or an accident. Get as much sleep as possible. Eat well. Convalesce. Let other take people care of you, too. And, importantly, let yourself cry when you need to - even if you're a man. This gets rid of the pain and tension you're holding in and you'll feel so much better afterwards.
Get out and about
At first you may not want to see, but soon you'll find that there are some good things about being single. See your friends. Remember, they've most likely been there too. You'll find that this is an ideal time to do things that you didn't do with your ex-partner. Get a hobby that involves you meeting people, take an evening class. Most importantly GET OUT IN THE WORLD.
See how the relationship and the person for how they actually were.
Try to look back at your relationship as it really was, not through the rose-tinted spectacles you've been wearing. There are always aspects of our past relationships that weren't right, and this is a good time to focus on them. Make a list of the things that you don't miss about your ex-partner. Right now you no doubt think that you love everything about them, but you don't. Nobody does - it's a simple fact of life! Perhaps they smoke but you don't or they break wind or have some other habit that bugged you. Maybe they put you down or made you feel stupid in front of your friends or theirs.
The Rebound
It's natural when a relationship ends that we want to find someone new to love us as soon as possible. DON'T DO IT!! Give yourself the gift of experiencing your single life for a few months. There may be times that you end up having sex (safe sex please!) with other people but your emotions will be fragile for a while. It's great to have fun, but don't go looking for anything serious until you have a happy, single life without thinking about your ex partner.
Often only one person wants to end the relationship and that leaves the other person broken hearted. When a relationship ends for some it may take months if not years for them to recover. A broken heart can feel like the worst pain imaginable. It can also seem like it will never end - luckily it does.
Here are some things you can do to fix your broken heart.
Forgiveness.
The first step is to forgive yourself for all the wrong that you feel you did during the relationship and then forgive the other person for any wrong you feel they did. If you forgive then you can start to move forward.
Self-esteem
Work on rebuilding your self-esteem. See my article on self-esteem and how to rebuild it.
Getting over your first love
This can sometimes be difficult because we all think our first, real, magical,love will last forever. But we don't normally look at friends and their teen relationships and think that they will last forever. It's extremely rare for people to fall in love at 17 or 18 and stay with that person for the rest of their lives. But this doesn't prevent us from feeling that our own first love is magical, wonderful, special and unique. So when that love ends it can be utterly devastating.
But this romance has shown you how much love you have to give. We all need love, every one of us. It's the one thing that unites us all. People with love to give are attractive individuals that everyone of the opposite sex is looking for. One day, you'll look back at your first love and realise that it was tremendous practice for later relationships.
But right now...
Be gentle with yourself
A broken heart makes us feel utterly destroyed. Treat yourself as if you are recovering from a bad illness or an accident. Get as much sleep as possible. Eat well. Convalesce. Let other take people care of you, too. And, importantly, let yourself cry when you need to - even if you're a man. This gets rid of the pain and tension you're holding in and you'll feel so much better afterwards.
Get out and about
At first you may not want to see, but soon you'll find that there are some good things about being single. See your friends. Remember, they've most likely been there too. You'll find that this is an ideal time to do things that you didn't do with your ex-partner. Get a hobby that involves you meeting people, take an evening class. Most importantly GET OUT IN THE WORLD.
See how the relationship and the person for how they actually were.
Try to look back at your relationship as it really was, not through the rose-tinted spectacles you've been wearing. There are always aspects of our past relationships that weren't right, and this is a good time to focus on them. Make a list of the things that you don't miss about your ex-partner. Right now you no doubt think that you love everything about them, but you don't. Nobody does - it's a simple fact of life! Perhaps they smoke but you don't or they break wind or have some other habit that bugged you. Maybe they put you down or made you feel stupid in front of your friends or theirs.
The Rebound
It's natural when a relationship ends that we want to find someone new to love us as soon as possible. DON'T DO IT!! Give yourself the gift of experiencing your single life for a few months. There may be times that you end up having sex (safe sex please!) with other people but your emotions will be fragile for a while. It's great to have fun, but don't go looking for anything serious until you have a happy, single life without thinking about your ex partner.
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