Building Up Your Confidence.

Self-confidence is about with how we feel about our abilities. But sometimes even the most confident person can feel that they are not good enough, or that they don’t matter. Being good at something may still not make you feel worthwhile. So building confidence is only one part of the story. Having low self-confidence can really have an impact on many parts of your life: how you think, feel, behave and it can also affect your body.
Some common things that happen when someone is lacking in confidence:
A person thinks or says...
"I can’t"
"That’s too difficult"
"I don’t know how"
"I won’t be able to handle this"
"It won’t be good enough"
"I just can’t decide what to do"

They can feel..
Apprehension and worry
Frustration and anger with themselves
Fear of the unknown, or of encountering new situations
Resentment of other people – "they seem to do it so easily"
Discouragement and feeling demoralised

A sufferer's behaviour can be...
More passive than active
They find it hard to make suggestions or put themselves forward
They avoid taking on anything new or making any changes
They are hesitant and require a great deal of encouragement

People lacking in confidence are often given away by their body because...
They tend to stoop, or retreat into themselves
They avoid looking people in the eye
They often fidget
They can be tense and nervous
They can be Sluggish or lethargic

People often feel less confident than they appear to everyone else. Confidence comes from the inside. A person can develop confidence with practice and a real desire to change. Practice at any skill makes it easier and it's no different with improving your confidence. Everybody makes mistakes while they're trying to learn something new, and if you let this undermine your confidence, this will get in the way of success. If you try to avoid all mistakes, you run the risk of ceasing to learn.

Over the years research has consistently proven these terrific ways to improve your confidence:

Acting confident: If you're faced with a situation where you feel lacking in confidence, for example a social gathering, first date or work meeting, imagine how you would behave if you felt really confident. Adopting the behaviour of confidence – the posture, actions and thoughts tells your body and unconscious mind how you want to be. This starts an upward spiral of increasing self-confidence.

Practice: Make building your confidence a habit. Try something new at work to develop a new skill and build your inner confidence.

Flexibility: If what you're doing isn't working do something else. People who lack self-confidence often feel they have to follow a rigid path to avoid pitfalls. But no two situations are exactly the same. The pitfalls are only in your imagination and the fear of going wrong will only hold you back.

Make the most of your mistakes: Mistakes are a lesson that we can learn from. That means we can avoid doing the same thing next time. Welcome mistakes positively, try not to repeat them and don’t let them knock your confidence.

Don't blame yourself: Instead of listening to a critical inner voice that has a go at you for past mistakes or failures, use an encouraging voice and make sure you can hear it loud and clear. This will help to bring out the best in yourself.

Be kind to yourself: This is crucial for building self-confidence. If you learn to treat yourself right instead of punishing yourself, your self-confidence will grow.

Ditch Perfection: No one is perfect, so don’t expect perfection from yourself or others. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Visualisation: Use your imagination to show yourself managing a difficult situation more successfully. Top athletes use this technique to show their unconscious mind the results that they desire. You'll find that visual rehearsals boost self-confidence and enable you to take a more positive approach to a difficult task.

Be responsible for yourself: We don't have control over much of what happens to us during the day, but we have total control over how we interpret what happens. Always look for a positive take on every situation. It doesn't matter how bad a situation is, there are two sides to every coin.

It's also helpful when you visualise your confident self to have a favourite tune that makes you feel good. Whenever you feel your confidence wavering, sing or hum it to yourself. This reminds your mid and body to go right back to bringing back your confidence.