Tuesday, September 30, 2008

How To Break A Habit

Habits help us but they can also haunt us. Some habits even become obsessive compulsive, such as nail biting, hair pulling & skin picking. Others such as smoking & drinking can alter our lives & even threaten them.

But habits can be broken just as easily as they are created and here’s a way to do it.

Decide how serious you are about breaking the habit. This is going to take a bit of time, effort and concentration. You’re going to have to pay attention to your behaviour so that you can change it. If you don’t have the motivation and commitment to do this then don’t waste your time. But if you do…

It’s important to realise that, regardless of how strange it might seem, behind every behaviour there is a positive intent. Almost without failure the reason for the behaviour clicks into our mind just before we actually do it. Often though that thought that tells us the positive intent comes and goes so quickly in our consciousness that we miss it.

Identify the times, situations and your emotional state when you perform the behaviour or you’re about to perform it. What does this habit do for you? Is it a way to deal with feelings of boredom, anxiety, stress, anger? Habits become automatic so conscious awareness is critical. When you can anticipate that you are about to perform your habitual behaviour before you actually do, you are likely to be more effective in stopping it.

Identify an incompatible behaviour that you can perform to interrupt or pre-empt the problem behaviour. Think of what you could do instead of the habit that would be a more positive way to deal with the feelings or situation. One great example I heard of was a smoker who decided to quit but instead of just shunning cigarettes he always kept a pack with him. He wanted to be able to reach for a cigarette just like normal. So he kept them where he knew they would trigger his habit.

As soon as he caught himself pulling out the pack and taking out a cigarette, he inserted a new habit to piggyback on the old one. With the unlit cigarette in his hand, he'd walk to a waste paper bin and shred the tobacco between his fingers and throw it away. Then he'd slip the pack back into his pocket. He could always pull out a second one and smoke it if he wanted to, but now he had a choice. That second one wasn't a habit-only the first one was. He continued to "use" 3-4 packs a day for a few days, but gradually that new, piggybacked habit began to become automatic. He'd get the urge to smoke, reach for the pack, and then, before pulling it out, he was already rubbing his fingers together, as though shredding the cigarette.

Try to catch yourself when you find yourself doing the habit and stop yourself as soon as you can. Start the alternative behaviour you decided you wanted to do instead. As often as you can, imagine being in the situation that triggers the habit. Rehearse the new behaviour in your mind. Using mental practice increases your chances of success.

Above all, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Every time you’ve succeeded pat yourself on the back and reward yourself with something. You can break any habit you want, but you need the right strategy. So, if you have tried and failed to break a habit in the past, believe me - with a carefully worked out plan, you can do it.


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